Thus far, i've always made decisions, wise ones, and not so much. The more i tried, the more obstacles seemed to come on, sometimes a tad too strong, and i just kept failing again and again.
And its the same old battle, the same battle i've had years back. when i didn't try at all, everything seemed much easier, in fact it felt as if i was in a better place. and now when all my intentions are there, everything gets so much harder. And things that i've always believed i wouldn't do, i did.

in all, im just disappointed. even friends hear me, and go wide-eyed. i should have stayed being the girl who wanted decent fun, and never going over that line of NO-NOs. yet, what have i got myself into? the more i tried, the more it felt like im sinking deeper.

God gave me brains to think, and i just didn't use it. Should i blame anyone else, for what i've become. simply put, i only have myself to blame. and really, intentions, only become real, if we really do sth to make them materialize. No point in me, wasting my saliva, saying i have the greatest, purest intentions, if i don't do a shit about it damn it. I love Him so much. Please, guide me back to the right path, i don't want to be where i am anymore, i don't wanna not know what i'm doing, and i don't wanna justify my wrongdoing, because everythings tts wrong, can't be made right, and because i'm here for a reason, please, make me be the best human being i can be.